Dear readers,
I hope you came right after finishing my first letter to you today. If not there are no hard feelings. This letter is definitely more exciting.
Back in March, I had a dear friend reach out to me and a lot of my friends. He was contacted by one of the local churches about being in a play and he wasn’t able to make the time commitment. He asked if any of us would want to do it, and one by one all the guys in the group chat dropped out, leaving me behind.
“Huh, well this is intriguing.”
I reached out to my friend and told him I would pray about it over the weekend, and I would get back to him.
Little did I know that it would take me about 7 minutes until I had my answer.
I was sitting in my car and I stopped to pray and instantly I knew God wanted me to do something I did not want to do.
I’m sure you have had those moments before, and I’m sorry but you will never be able to convince me that in an argument against God you will be right and He will not be.
Whenever we go to God to fight, make sure you are prepared to be wrong.
I bickered and complained a bit, I gave God all the reasons I didn’t want to do it. And He responded, “I don’t want you to just be in the play, I want you to be the Lead Role.”
Poop.
There I was panicking in my car. “No – God – I do not – I can’t.”
I knew right after I said it I was wrong. “You can use me this way. I don’t know why you would want to” Again, pitifully attempting to persuade God. Word to the wise, don’t dishonor God in that way ever.
Here’s the thing. The main role was Jesus. God wanted me to portray Jesus, and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to memorize the Word of Truth. I didn’t want to speak in front of people.
What a horrible truth.
Can you put yourself in my shoes? Can you think of any times in your life you did not want to emulate the King of Kings?
I sat there and started to apologize for the excuses that I was giving Him. I knew it wasn’t right, and yet I did it anyway.
I picked up my phone and messaged my friend that I’d do it.
I met with the director and one of the actors and they painted a picture for me of what it would all look like. They told me to read over the script and get back to them if I wanted the lead role.
After I read the script the next morning I did not know what to say. My flesh and my spirit were fighting so hard.
There were a lot of things that Jesus said. And my flesh did not want to spend the time to memorize them.
I told them I was still going to do the role out of obedience to God.
Practices came and went. I read and reread my lines. And up until the 3rd to last practice, I did not have most of my lines memorized. I was lazy, I wanted to do anything except memorize my lines.
After that practice, I went and sat with God. I knew I wasn’t giving Him my best, and this was something He gave me to refine my character. Yet I complained to almost everyone I talked to, instead of declaring the honor it was to portray my Savior and King.
While sitting with God that morning He gave me the greatest heart check. He humbled me and convicted me all at once. It was beautiful. He spoke so much truth over me and led me to His Word to comfort me.
After that, I began bathing each practice in prayer. Every time I went to my room to memorize I asked The Holy Spirit to lead my head and my heart to remember and speak the words that He wanted me to.
After that, the lines came more naturally.
By God’s grace each practice I had more and more peace.
I knew I had to bring my 1%, and that God would provide the 99%.
Opening night I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be. All the actors prayed together for each other, and for the Glory of God to be the only reason any of us were doing this in the first place.
There were bumps in the performance.
Missed lines and missed cues.
But yet again, God used His beautiful and gracefully broken creation to fulfill what He wanted them to do.
I quickly walked out the backdoor after the play was finished. I didn’t want anyone to thank me or give me praise for what God had clearly done that night.
I’m thankful for the trial, and I’m greatly convicted to begin taking scripture meditation and memorization more seriously. God has used those lines in my life as a reminder of what He has done, and what He continues to do.
So why on earth would I limit the library of wisdom in my head to one little portion I ‘had’ to do for a play?
I pray this is encouraging and convicting all at the same time. How else do we sharpen one another?
Until next time.
